Done to death
by Lifeistooshort
Summary: Maybe this has been done to death! But still who doesn't love a good Daniel's died but not really... maybe not? Who can say for sure? angsty love story? DanielVala.
1. Chapter 1

Vala put a rose on the coffin. She placed a gentle hand on top of it and tried her best to hold back tears. She just stared, maybe even for a moment longer then she should have. She was frozen in that moment, like it was a terrible dream and she would wake up right then.

It was the tears that brought her back to reality. She turned away and folded herself into Sam's embrace. She felt Cam's hand embrace her shoulder as he tried to comfort her. She knew it wasn't fair, he had been their friend too; she wasn't the only one who was mourning.

She'd heard all those stories about how he'd come back. Again and again. But this time was different. This time there was no coming back. She felt for sure that it was over.

"He's gone Sam," she whispered through the tears. She felt Sam's arms tighten around her. She cried and whispered to herself. "He's gone."

----

Vala didn't know why they called it 'wake', all she felt like doing was curling up and falling asleep. Daniel would have understood. He would have told her to go upstairs and rest her head. But Vala couldn't escape Sam's living room. Everyone was compelled by the urge to comfort her, which wasn't very helpful considering she would much rather have been alone.

She listened to all of their stories about him. He seemed like a heroic, moralistic sweetheart, which frankly Vala had always known. Still no one wanted to tell the stories she wanted to hear. She wanted to hear all the stories about how he was a pain in the ass, about how he was irritable and deranged. All Vala wanted to hear were the stories about _her_ Daniel.

Finally Sam must have gotten the hint. It was getting late, well not really late more like seven in the evening, but Vala was exhausted. Sam finally pulled Vala into the kitchen away from the crowd.

"How you doing?" Sam asked, as she went back to finish making the coffee.

Vala sat down and shrugged. Everyone kept asking that, as if they expected her response to be anything but miserable. She'd actually given up answering the question; she'd just smile and nod, no one really wanted to know the truth.

"Do you think I could get a ride back to the mountain?" Vala asked. She was fiddling through a bowl of M&Ms. "I think I need some sleep." She wanted to go back to the base and curl up in one of his sweaters.

Sam nodded and went into the living room with a pot of coffee. Alone for a few moments Vala tried to think what she would do with her life now that he was gone. She guessed she would stay with SG-1. If it wasn't too hard that is. She needed her friends right now, and they needed her. He wouldn't want her to leave and that made her smile and cry at the same time.

"Hey?"

She turned to see Jack O'Neil, standing in the doorway. She smiled and wiped the tears from her cheeks.

"Sam says you need a ride?"

Vala got to her feet and rubbed the non-existent wrinkles out of her skirt. "That's okay." She hadn't thought Sam would ask Jack to drive her. She didn't want to take him away from his friends. "I can just ask one of the airmen."

Jack waved a hand to stop her. "Don't worry," Jack told her. "Frankly I need to get away. Everyone keeps asking me 'how are you doing?' It's driving me crazy."

Vala raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. "Too many people trying to comfort you?"

Jack gave a quick nod. He started heading for the front door. "Come on," he said quietly. "Before they realize we're trying to escape."

Vala laughed softly and followed Jack out the door. They were in the car and buckled up before Cam stuck his head out the front door. He started to walk towards them, but Vala wasn't going to wait to see what he had to say. She grabbed Jack's arm and stared into his eyes. "Drive!"

Jack started the car and they were down the road before Cam even made it down the front steps.

Vala sat back in her seat. She was glad for some silence and some peace. She understood now why Sam and picked Jack to drive her. Jack wasn't going to force her to talk. Jack valued the silence as much as she did.

The drive felt shorter than usual. The sight of the mountain had never been so beautiful to Vala. Jack stopped the car and waited for her to get out. They sat next to each other for a moment, not saying anything neither one of them moving. Vala wondered what he was going to say, if he was going to ask her something.

Jack opened his mouth to speak, but Vala moved before he could say a word. She gave him a quick kiss on his check and rested a friendly hand in his forearm.

"Thank you," she said and turned away, getting out of the car.

"Hey," Jack said, stopping her by grabbing her arm.

Vala turned and stared at him. She wondered how often she'd given Daniel that look of confusion.

"You gonna be okay?" Jack asked letting her arm go.

Vala smiled. She didn't have a real answer to that question, but she was glad he had asked. She nodded and got out without saying another word.

----

Vala was glad to be on the nearly empty base. Tomorrow morning it would be full again, everyone would be back to business. It wouldn't be that easy for her, but she'd be willing to try if she got some sleep.

She went to the room that she had been sharing with Daniel for the past three months. It felt cold without him. She looked around at all his things. She didn't know what she was going to do with all his stuff. She didn't want to sell it, but she knew she couldn't keep it all. Maybe she would donate it. Some museum would probably want Daniel's junk.

She smiled to herself and went over to the dresser. All his clothes were still there. The dresser smelt like him. She took of her solemn dress and grabbed one of his sweaters and pajama pants. She was going to miss that smell.

She put on his clothes and went to the bed. She clutched his pillow and hugged it close. She curled up under the covers and tried to forget that the past few days had happened. She tried to imagine that Daniel was just offworld, on some mission to look at Ancient artifacts. She tried to imagine he would come back any moment, and he would creep into the room, quietly tiptoeing around so he wouldn't wake her.

She started to sob. Her imagination wasn't that good. She didn't think she'd be sleeping at all.

----

Vala woke up with the oddest feeling. She felt her belly; she knew this feeling all to well. She was pregnant, and quite a few months along. Then Vala felt even more terrified. There were two warm arms wrapped around her, and she could feel a body pressed against her back. There was a cheek resting against her own, and the soft comforting smell of…

"Daniel?" she whispered the word like a half cry.

"Hmm?" She heard the sound softly in her ear and she knew for sure.

She jumped up quickly, throwing him off her and probably giving him whiplash. She stared at the body beside her, it was Daniel.

"What is it?" his concerned voice stuttered. He was searching for his glasses on the nightstand.

Vala looked around. She wasn't on the base. This was Daniel's apartment; she'd spent enough nights here to know the place. The morning light was peaking through window, making the place a touch warmer than usual.

Vala knew this was a dream, there was no other explanation. Then she felt Daniel shift in the bed and rub her back.

"What's wrong?"

Vala stared at him. He felt so real. How could a dream feel this real? "You… were… you are…" she was trying to get the words out but all she manage was sobs. She started gasping, her sobs growing deeper and this place feeling more real every second.

Daniel was sitting up beside her now. "What is it?" His hand was still rubbing her back. She looked into his eyes and saw that loving concern she'd only seen a few times before.

She couldn't help it. She wrapped her arms around him and held him close. She rested her head in the nitch between his shoulder and his neck and continued to sob. Daniel furrowed his brow with worry but he just held her close and didn't say another word.

Vala breathed in his scent. Even if this was just a dream, somehow she felt it was right. The only person who could really comfort her right now was her Daniel.

----

Daniel carried her to the living room sofa and sat down placing her on his lap. Vala had stopped crying eventually but she wouldn't let go of him. He had taken her to the living room in the hopes she'd talk.

"Vala," his soft voice said rubbing a hand across her cheek. She loosened her grip a little and looked into his eyes. Daniel had never seen her cry like this; she had always been so strong. Even when she had been having nightmares she hadn't cried, not like this. He felt helpless; he had no idea what to do with a crying woman, let alone with a crying Vala.

Vala just looked at him. She'd woken up in a different world, and it was magical and wonderful. She knew things about this world that she had no idea how she could know. Her Daniel had survived and they were living out their happy ever after. She felt the ring on her that she somehow remembered Daniel giving her six months ago, right before they'd found out about the baby. Vala stared into those bleu eyes, and knew somehow this was just too real to be a dream.

"What's going on?" Daniel asked pushing her hair behind her ear.

Vala gave him a weak smile. Where was she supposed to start? She let out a deep sigh and tried to start. She could feel the lump in her throat reforming and her eyes warming with tears. "We…" she took a deep breath and tried to steady her voice. Daniel's hand slid up and down her arm in a way that seemed soothing. She started again. "Yesterday, we buried you."

Daniel looked at her confused. "What?"

She didn't know how to tell him this without sounding crazy. "The mission to P3X-929…" she took a deep breath again. She was going to start sobbing again.

Daniel just shook his head. "Vala that was six months ago," Daniel told her still with a hint of confusion.

Vala just looked at him. How could she explain that two worlds were colliding? "What happened on that mission?" She needed to know what his version was, because her version just made her want to start sobbing again.

Daniel sighed and tilted his head as if trying to remember exactly what had occurred. "We came under fire," he started looking at her for recognition. Vala nodded and he continued. "Umm… we ran and we gated home." It was something that was happening on a surprising number of planets these days which was why Daniel didn't understand why it would make Vala ball her eyes out.

Vala shook her head in a heartfelt protest. "That's not what happened," her voice was quiet. She didn't know what to say next. "You died."

Vala saw Daniel's face change from confusion to concern and back again. "You must have been dreaming," he tried to tell her. It seemed the only logical explanation, either that or Vala had finally lost it. Daniel poked himself in the chest. "See," he said with a sincere smile. "Still alive."

Vala gave him a weak laugh. She rested her head against his chest and breathed in his scent, his totally alive and totally Daniel scent. Maybe this was real. She remembered the last six months with clarity, and there was no way she could deny those memories were real. Vala knew though that memories could be altered, so maybe the last six months weren't real. Maybe she was trying to compensate for the tragedy by creating an alternate fantasy where she would always have her Daniel. Vala sighed; she didn't know what to think.

"It was real Daniel," she told him slowly. "I wouldn't be able to dream something that terrible."

Daniel rested his head on top of hers. He sighed, he had no idea what to say to her. "We can talk to the doctor tomorrow," Daniel told her, only taking her remarks with mock sincerity. "She'll be able to see if your memories have been altered, or if you've been taken to an Alternate Reality or... whatever."

Somehow Vala knew he didn't believe her. Why would he? Still she knew he would do anything to comfort her. Daniel loved her, there was no doubt about that. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him close.

"Do you want to go back to bed?" Daniel's voice softly whispered in her ear.

Vala shook her head and closed her eyes.

"Is there something I can do?" Daniel asked, a question he asked her a lot. He asked her namely out of worry but they both knew it was a sign of love and commitment. Vala heard the question and felt like her heart was going to explode.

She released her arms and grabbed his. She wrapped his arms tight around her body. "Hold me," she told him. She placed her arms back around his neck and rested her head. Before long she was drifting off to sleep. Daniel's chest falling up and down; his warm breath against her neck; and his arms tightly wrapped around her, all comforted her enough that for that moment she truly believed this life was real.


	2. Chapter 2

Vala woke with a start. She felt suddenly lost; everything was so surreal. Daniel was nowhere to be found, and she felt her heart sink as she realized why. She was waking up in her bed on the base, wearing the clothes she'd put on last night. She sat up and looked around. Daniel's pillow was smeared with tears.

She got up from the bed not knowing exactly what to think. Her head felt fuzzy, but she remembered with clarity… her dream? She didn't know now. She shook her head and felt her heart sink low; of course it had been a dream, what other explanation was there?

She looked at the clock. She'd slept in until noon, she couldn't remember ever doing that, but that thought only made her feel worse. Of course she'd never slept in that late, Daniel would have kicked her ass out of bed long ago. She wondered why no one else had; they all probably wanted to give her "space".

She got up from bed and debated changing her clothes. She didn't want to change. She wanted to stay in Daniel's clothes all day. If she got in trouble… well she knew she wouldn't get in trouble, not this week at least.

She didn't even bother to brush her hair; there wasn't much point in looking good today. She knew everyone would be talking about how miserable she looked no matter what she did. She exited their… no, she exited HER room, closing the door softly behind her. She b-lined her way to Sam's office, knowing her friend would be in by now.

She found Sam at a computer, looking sullen and confused. Vala cleared her throat to get some attention.

"Hey," Sam said giving her a half-hearted smile. Sam looked at Vala, who was wearing what was undeniably Daniel's clothing. Vala's hair was a mess and her eyes looked red. Sam wearily began to ask, "How you feeling?"

Vala was so tired of answering that question. She had been lying for days now. "I'm alright." "I'll survive." What did people expect? This time she didn't feel like lying and she wasn't going to. This was not a good morning, lying would just make things worse. "Miserable." She sat down across from Sam, fighting back tears. She didn't cry in front of anyone… Well she'd let that go this week too. "I had the worst dream."

She told Sam about the entire thing; about how real it was, about how all the memories were there, and about the clarity she still felt about it. Sam, who had in truth expected the dream to be some sort of horrid nightmare, was surprised to hear how hopeful it had been. Still the hopefulness of the dream scared Sam just as much. She didn't want Vala to start thinking about heading off to another reality to save Daniel. She didn't want her friend to become obsessed with this idea that Daniel could still be saved.

"It sounds like your trying to comfort yourself," Sam told her. "You're using your dream as a way to get to Daniel."

Vala nodded vaguely. As much as Sam's argument was logical Vala couldn't or didn't want to believe it was true. She started to get up to leave. "I just didn't expect this to…" Vala suddenly felt unsteady. She grabbed the desk and her stool trying to brace herself.

"Vala are you okay?" Sam asked getting up and walking around the desk.

Vala started to wave a hand. "Just a little dizz…" Vala lost her grip on the desk and fell to the floor. Everything felt hazy, she felt like she was falling backwards in slow motion. She didn't recall hitting the ground, or Sam's terrified cry.

--------

Vala felt a finger slowly smoothing the hair on her cheek. She loved that motion, and she adored the sensation of the soft touch, but most of all she loved that this was the way she got to wake up. She smiled and sighed deeply. Her eyes blinked open. She blinked again.

"Good morning," said the smiling face before her. He raised his head a little and looked over at the clock. "I guess I should say good afternoon."

Vala didn't know what was going on. This was different then the last time. She was in Daniel's apartment, in his warm bed, curled up close to him, but she wasn't pregnant and they hadn't been living here for months. She knew… somehow she just knew this reality was happening before the trip to P3X-292. This reality was taking place months ago, and this was the morning after she'd spent the night at his apartment for the first time.

"Daniel?" she tried to keep her voice steady.

Daniel leaned in and gave her lips a soft kiss. She loved that he was sweet, and she loved that he was still here. She loved this world; it was like living in a memory.

She remembered this morning so well. She remembered the events leading up to it and she remembered how wonderful those weeks had been.

Daniel had been taking her out every week for the past few months, every Friday when they didn't have a mission or just any day that worked into the schedule. Mitchell had nicknamed Fridays "date night", a name Vala had enjoyed and Daniel had continued to deny. Daniel said it was just 'a friend thing' and that he wasn't going to 'lead Vala on' about any other kind of relationship.

Two weeks before this morning, he'd done something that surprised her. She was arguing with him, well no she was teasing him, and Daniel had done something almost ingenious to get her to stop. He'd pulled her aside and backed her against a wall, and he'd kissed her more passionately then Vala had been kissed in her life.

Months later Daniel told her he'd jinxed himself. Somewhere along the way he'd started to trust her, and he didn't know when exactly it had happened but she'd become his best friend. The night when he kissed her, he finally understood what he'd been feeling for weeks, maybe even months. That night had been the night when Daniel had finally realized he loved her, and that he trusted her enough to give in.

He pulled away from her after that kiss with a smile Vala remembered all too clearly. For the next two weeks they'd spent time stealing lusty kisses, teasing each other until date night. When it finally came two weeks later they had barely kept their hands off each other threw dinner. She'd been amazed when Daniel didn't return her to the base, but had taken her to his apartment a place she'd only visited once or twice.

But waking up like this wasn't exactly like the memory she had. In her "other-world" memories they'd gotten called in to the base way too early and sleeping was something they hadn't had time to do.

As Daniel pulled away and smiled, Vala felt memory wash over her. This morning wasn't two weeks after that kiss. This morning was the morning after Daniel kissed half crazy. He'd taken her off the base after that kiss and cooked her dinner. He smiled all night and when dinner was done, kissing her passionately he'd carried her to his bed. Vala felt the memories clearly in her mind, mixed in with her other memories she was beginning to sink into the feeling of confusion. Daniel took a hand and smoothed the hair from her brow. Even if this reality was something close to what she recalled, it was still different. That's what made it feel so perfect.

Vala stared at him now and failed to even think of words. Instead she decided to plant a rather sizable kiss on Daniel's mouth. He tasted just like she remembered, strong yet sweet. She could feel Daniel move into the kiss, and as he moved, the hand smoothing the hair on her cheek began to pull her in close.

She pulled away from him with a quiet smile. "Daniel," she heard herself whisper a little stronger now.

Daniel moved in and started placing kisses along her neck. Vala felt her hands wander slowly to his chest and slowly down below. But when Daniel's mouth enveloped hers once more, everything started to fade and this reality began to feel less and less… real.

-----

Vala sat up in the infirmary bed and tried to swat away the very determined Carolyn Lam. "I'm fine," she said, trying to stop the stethoscope from touching her skin.

"No you're not," Carolyn insisted. "You passed out. Now sit still."

Vala didn't know why but she did what Carolyn asked. She pouted unhappily and let the doctor finish her exam.

Carolyn made a face; she was hearing something she shouldn't. She put her stethoscope around her shoulders and stared at her patient. She pulled on the stethoscope almost nervously and then began to ask Vala, "Vala are you…"

Vala didn't let her finish the sentence. She just nodded her head and put up a hand to stop her. "Don't tell anyone." She lowered her eyes feeling suddenly defeated. She thought she had hidden it so well. If all it would take for Carolyn Lam to figure it out, was a brief physical exam… well she was a Doctor, Vala had to giver her some credit. At least now someone else knew, she wouldn't have to make a decision alone.

"How long have you known?" Carolyn asked dipping her head so that she could try and meet Vala's eyes.

Vala looked up at her and smiled, soft tears were starting to fill her eyes. "Known for a few weeks now," Vala told her quietly, almost like a whisper

"So Daniel knew?" Carolyn asked.

Vala couldn't manage words. She just nodded her head. She tried to think back to that day when they'd first found out. It was all so distant now; it was all so surreal. The whole situation had gotten out of hand. She didn't want to think about Daniel; least of all she wanted to think about this. She wished she could fade back into that other world, and forget any of this was happening.

"Does that have anything to do with my passing out?" Vala asked waving her hand towards Sam's office. She wiped her tears with the back of her hand and gave a soft sniffle.

Carolyn smiled sympathetically, but shook her head. "It looks like low blood sugar and stress," Carolyn told her. "Just drink your orange juice and eat your breakfast."

Vala nodded and grabbed the cup before her. Smiling she tilted the cup in recognition of Carolyn and quickly swallowed her juice.

"When _was_ the last time you ate?" Carolyn asked.

Vala just smiled. She gave Carolyn her most innocent look. She picked up a muffin and stuffed it in her mouth. She shrugged her reply and pretended to mumble an answer.

Carolyn shook her head. "Do you want me to tell Sam she can come over now?"

Vala just shrugged trying to get her mouth around the mouthful of muffin she'd taken too hastily. She chewed vigorously and watched the doctor fade into the background. She sighed and lent back against her bed.

"Why did you have to go and get yourself killed?" she whispered softly. It was the first time she'd actually tried to ask the question. It was the first time she'd even thought to speak to Daniel as if he were somewhere listening. As much as she wanted to believe Daniel was still somewhere close by, she realized at that moment how angry she was at Daniel. She was angry that he'd taken so much risk. She was angry that he had been thinking of her and not himself. She was angry with him for the fact that he'd actually died. She shook her head. She tried to clear it of those thoughts, and she tried to stop thinking of Daniel. There was no point being angry with Daniel, not anymore.

Sam approached her before Vala really had anytime to think.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked her in that all too sympathetic voice.

Vala mumbled, "Ow Bood Tugar," as she chomped down on her food. She swallowed what she could and looked at Sam. She didn't want to tell her friend about… her newest 'adventure'. As she stared at Sam, Vala began to realize no one would understand what she was feeling; everyone would chalk it up to stress and grief.

Maybe that's all it was. No other realities. No Daniel.

Vala smiled at Sam and thought to herself, she could save Daniel if she tried. These weren't dreams; she was seeing other realities, experiencing them. If she knew what to change or what to do she might be able to save him here and now. That's what it was all about, if she tried to understand they could be together again.


	3. Chapter 3

Vala didn't want to spend the day on the base. Sam wouldn't leave her alone and Mitchell was running around trying to meet her every little need. Teal'c on the other hand just kept staring at her in disbelief and had barely spoken two words to her. Everything was a constant reminder of Daniel, and it was a constant reminder that she might never get him back.

"Sam do you think that maybe I could…" but Vala wasn't able to finish her sentence. Sam had wrapped her arms around her and Vala was given a startling hug.

"It's okay Vala," Sam said with a stutter in her voice. "You can talk to me. I want to know how you are feeling."

Vala didn't want to tell Sam how she was feeling. She slowly tried to shake Sam off of her. "Sam I…"

Mitchell popped up around the corner and entered the lab. Vala almost smiled when she saw him. "Mitchell can you get Sam off me?!" Mitchell smiled and lightly pulled Sam off Vala. Vala smiled and began to thank him. "Do you think I could…" But she barely had time to get that out before Mitchell had wrapped his own arms around him.

He pulled away from her with a half-goofy but mostly sad smile. "You looked like you needed that."

"Agh!" Vala yelled and started to walk out of the room. Suddenly Teal'c appeared and gave her that depressed look he hadn't been able to get rid of since the funeral. She just stared at him. "You deal with them Muscle. I'm going to Daniel's office!"

She stormed off down the hall. She knew her friends meant well, but this was getting ridiculous. She couldn't go three feet without someone trying to comfort her or tell her how she must feel.

The SGC had been through Daniel's office already, most of those things were property of the SGC and another anthropologist would be taking over in a couple of days. Vala however had been spending a lot of time there of late. She didn't know why but there was a lingering scent of him there, as if he had left a mark on the room itself.

She went over to his computer and started to open his files. She hated she had to do this, but the SGC was going to delete all his personal files, or something close to that extent. She was going through and making sure Daniel's personal notes and diaries weren't totally wiped out or locked away.

Suddenly the computer screen flashed. Words appeared on a black screen and Vala blindly stared. "Where would you rather be? Don't leave me. Not yet." She stared blinking, the words began to change. "Life is not always simple. You can choose your path forward. You can choose to be free of this." Vala blinked again.

"Daniel?" she asked softly staring at the screen.

"Expect nothing. Nothing is as it seems." The screen flashed the words with such conviction Vala couldn't but help believe it. She didn't know if this was Daniel. He wouldn't be allowed to do this if he was ascended. Would he?

"What's going on?" Vala asked hoping she would finally get an answer. "Are you still alive?"

"Open your mind. I am…"

"Ms. Mal Doran," an airman said approaching from the doorway.

Vala startled by him looked away from the screen. "Yes?" She looked back at the screen; she saw Daniel's desktop, no black screen and no words.

"The General said you needed to commission a ride?" the airman asked quickly. He seemed nervous; maybe he didn't know how to act around her right now.

Vala smiled at him thankfully. "Later today if that's alright."

The airman just nodded and backed out of the room just as nervously as he had entered.

Vala turned back to the screen. She stared at it for a moment, and then shook her head. She was just tired and had probably imagined it. She shook herself and got back to Daniel's files. She was going through things quickly and radically but when she finally came upon a document marked 'My Vala' she stopped. She titled her head curiously and started to open it, but she stopped herself mid-click. It was the last file he'd written before they'd gone on the mission, maybe this wasn't something she wanted to see. She shook herself for the ridiculous thought and opened the document.

--- She is the woman who I love with all my heart. I have never felt this much joy. I have loved before, but this love is different. She owns my heart and she owns my life. I do not think I could spend my life without her. She is the one I want to be with forever. No matter what happens I live on in her.---

That's where it ended. Vala smiled and wiped a tear from her cheek. She could almost recall Daniel writing this. She had interrupted him and he had closed the file quickly when she had approached. She almost laughed now, Daniel was so sweet and silly.

She couldn't do this now. It was too hard to think that he was here only moments before. She got up and started to go back down the hall to their room. She wanted to go back to sleep, and she didn't ever want to wake up, but on her way Vala was pulled into some room by Sam. Sam was being very clingy these days.

"There's something going on with his will," Sam began to tell her. "I wouldn't have bothered you with it but…"

Vala shook her head. "It's okay Sam. What is it?" She sat down and waited for Sam to explain.

Daniel, being a man who died quite often, had been more then prepared for the event. His will was an extensively elaborate work that reflected the very nature of his work, but a few weeks ago Daniel had gone and talked to his lawyer and he had made sweeping changes to the document.

Vala was surprised and almost mortified when she had found out he'd left her everything. Well almost everything, there were a few trinkets here that were going to different people for sentimental reasons. Daniel however had left express notes for Vala, telling her how she could get money loaning artifacts to museums, or selling them at auctions. Vala had been disgusted with him that he really could think of her that way after all this time.

"One of the artifacts at the house," Sam began to tell her. "Daniel has a note attached to it that it's supposed to go to you, but the will says that it's going to Catherine Langford."

Vala hadn't been able to dig through his apartment, now her apartment, to figure out what to do with all his junk. The will had been extensive enough that every item had a note attached, expressing how exactly Vala could extract the most value from it's use. Vala didn't want to get rid of anything. Everything was Daniel's, and every item had in some way been important to him. She couldn't understand why he had suddenly placed material value on each item and decided they all belonged to her. Was that how he thought Vala would evaluate his life? How much could she get out of these things Daniel had loved?

Vala shrugged. "I don't care," she told Sam getting up and heading for the door. "It's just one artifact. I know Catherine will love it and treat it the way Daniel would have." Meaning that somehow she wouldn't? She shook her head and started to head back out.

"Vala?" Sam asked softly.

Vala turned back and found herself being embraced once again. All these hugs were driving her insane. She never made it back to their room on the base. When Sam had given her the nineteenth hug of the day, Vala decided it was time to get out. She was still wearing Daniel's pajamas when she signed out of the base. She had made her escape with help from Doctor Lee, who had somehow distracted Sam so Vala could squeeze out the door. Mitchell and Teal'c had been harder to dodge. She actually had to run from them and race to the elevator. She even offered the airman who checked her out some kind of bribe if he acted like he had never seen her.

She hated that she had never learnt how to drive. She hadn't been thinking about that when she had raced away from the boys. She stood in the base parking lot and tried to think how to best escape from here. She closed her eyes and tried to focus. The airman! He would call for her ride!

"Hey Vala!" a familiar voice shouted from not too far away.

Vala turned to look, surprised more then ever. "Daniel?" she wondered why she was still so surprised that he kept popping up. She raced towards him and jumped on top of him. She started to kiss him passionately but he was being resistant. It took her a moment to remember why he would be resistant to her loving embrace.

She wasn't with Daniel in this reality and she backed away from him quickly, seeing his look of surprise and annoyance. She didn't care though, even if she would never have him, at least he was alive.

"Sorry," she mumbled suddenly blushing. She took another step away from him. "Really, really sorry."

Daniel's glare softened a little, she did sound apologetic. "What was that for?" She could hear the annoyance in his voice, and she loved that sound.

She jumped, acting a little bouncy. "Just for being you, darling."

Daniel shook his head, as if this was something that happened all the time. "You're a fruitcake," he muttered as he turned to his car.

She smiled and bounced again. It was Daniel all right. "Where you going darling?"

Daniel turned back and looked at her confused. "We're going to my place," he told her in all seriousness. "You were going to help me set up for the party."

"Party?" Vala asked a little excited. She remembered what was going on now. Daniel was having a party at his house to commemorate Jack's something or other. Vala smiled, but then she remembered what she had to do. She grabbed Daniel's arm and in all seriousness spoke, "No Daniel. We have to figure out what's going on. I need to tell you…"

But before she could finish her sentence she opened her eyes and realized she was on the steps of the apartment building. There was an SUV pulling out of the driveway, one of the airmen had given her a ride. Vala sighed; she was back in a world where Daniel was no more. She fiddled with her keys, not even questioning how she got here.

She found her way into the apartment. This was going to drive her insane. One moment she was here, the next she was in a world where Daniel was. And then the message on the computer screen? What did this all mean? She wished she knew what the hell was happening.

She opened the door to the apartment, threw the keys down in their regular spot and found her way to the couch. She flopped down and sighed as she looked around. As if it wasn't surreal enough that Daniel was gone, now she had to figure out if she could get him back.

She stared around the room. She remembered the last time they had been here. Daniel had been talking about marriage, he had been acting like a complete idiot, and she had loved it. They had curled up on this couch, wrapped close together to keep warm. Now Vala sat and tired to remember the ghost feeling of his touch but she just felt cold.

Suddenly she heard voices shouting from the kitchen.

"No Jack!" it was Daniel's voice, and he sounded angry. "I will not let her be exposed to that! Not after everything we have been through."

"Daniel," Jack seemed to whine.

Vala got up from the couch and headed towards them. Her head felt fuzzy, and she reached for memories but realized none of them were there.

"She's old enough to decide for herself."

"She's five!"

Vala stood in the doorway. There they were. Daniel was holding a knife, cutting something looking like some sort of cook. He looked older then she would have imagined, and somehow that made him seem more beautiful. Jack was standing munching something and standing on the other side of the room, as far away from the ranting Daniel as he could be.

"Daniel I think it's time you…" but Jack never finished his sentence. He looked up and saw Vala standing in the doorway. His eyes were wider then they had ever been in his life.

Daniel turned to look at Jack. "What…" Jack pointed towards Vala.

As Daniel turned to look she smiled and waved. "Hello," she said the words slowly. "What's going on?"

Suddenly Jack had a gun pulled and Daniel looked just as ready to kill her. She threw her hands up in the air. "What did I do?"

"Who are you?" Daniel asked, suddenly seeming afraid and fragile.

She gave him a confused smile. "You know who I am Daniel." She started to take a step towards them. They both seemed to jump back. "I'm…" She didn't have time to finish the sentence. She felt a pain filling her gut, and her heart was starting to slow. She put her hand to her stomach and felt blood. She stared at her hand in disbelief, the red substance looked like something she had never seen before.

"Daniel?" she mumbled as she collapsed onto the floor.

She remembered now. This reality was different in so many ways. Everything after P3X-292 was dark, dark and yet peaceful. She remembered nothing of it, because for her none of it had occurred. She remembered now. Daniel hadn't died on P3X- 292, she had.

As everything started to fade to black, Vala heard soft words whispered like an echo. "Nothing is as it seems."


	4. Chapter 4

Vala opened her eyes. She felt the pain in her gut as if it were an echo. She was in their room on the base, staring at it with disbelief. Moments before she had passed out on Daniel's kitchen floor, but he was gone now. She had lost him again. Every feeling was so brief, every moment was like some trap lulling her into the false idea that Daniel was still with her.

Suddenly she felt a sweeping rage come over her. Daniel had been an idiot, protecting her and getting himself killed. Vala started to pick up Daniel's things and started to throw them against the far wall.

She heard glass crash and break with glee. Every artifact, every little thing she threw and break gave her just a little bit more peace. "Damn you Daniel!" she shouted. She was screaming as she threw things.

She could hear the footsteps running down the hall but she didn't care. She wanted to destroy everything of his, she wished he was alive just so she could kill him all over again. He had left her. He had decided that her life was more important then his, and right now she would do anything to make sure their roles had been reversed. Daniel's life meant more then hers, because she couldn't go on living without him. Vala heard the door open, and she stopped her tirade. She stood in the middle of the room, slumped and panting.

"What the hell is going on?"

She turned; she should have been expecting this. "Daniel?"

He approached her slowly and eased her into his arms. "Vala?" She collapsed into his arms and fell to the floor. "What's wrong?"

She hated him. She hated his every bone and breathe, but he was here, and despite everything she wanted to feel, she couldn't help but love him.

"Help me Daniel," she muttered softly. She was crying in his arms. Any second now she would be moving somewhere else, all of this would be gone. "Please Daniel. Help me."

Daniel took her to the infirmary, hoping they could get some answers. Vala was hysterical; she couldn't stop crying long enough to explain anything to him. When they arrived at the infirmary Carolyn had shooed him outside. Daniel paced madly outside, wishing he could be with Vala, hoping Carolyn would figure out what's going on.

Vala could see him pacing out in the hall. She tried to focus on the doctor but her thoughts kept straying back to Daniel in the hall. She could hear him muttering words of worry, and when Sam arrived she realized she could hear the conversation with a precise clarity she had not thought possible.

Sam arrived and she glared at Daniel. "What have you done now?" Sam asked him pointing an accusing finger.

Daniel backed away from her throwing his hands into the air. "I don't do know what I did."

Sam backed off but continued to glare. Her look softened as she asked him. "Does it have something to do with the baby?"

Daniel couldn't do more then shrug. "I got kicked out because Vala wouldn't stop crying while I was around… I think she might be..." But before he could finish his though Carolyn poked her head outside the infirmary door.

"Ummm hi," she said to him awkwardly. "I was just…" She stopped when she caught sight of Sam. "Oh, Sam good!" She sounded odd, like she'd come up against something she couldn't solve on her own. "I was just going to get you."

"Me?"

Daniel looked between both women. "Why Sam? What's going on? How's Vala?"

Carolyn looked worried. "She… calmed down after you left. She told me…" she paused. "She thinks she's shifting through realities… she says this isn't her reality… ummm…." Carolyn's base assessment was to get a psychiatrist down here as quick as possible, but this was the SGC so anything was possible. "So that's why I need Sam."

Suddenly they heard a loud crash in the infirmary. All three of them went racing in. Vala was on the floor, blood streaming from some unknown wound. Vala felt reality fading quickly, something about all of this wasn't right.

Vala found herself in the driver's seat of a car. She was in the middle of the road. There was a screaming child in the back of the car, and sitting next to her, was Daniel. She stared at him for a moment; he looked like he was scared.

"Vala!" he screamed at her. "Keep your eyes on the road!"

She suddenly turned back to the road and swerved. "This is insane Daniel!" she let go of the steering wheel and threw her arms up in the air. "I can't drive."

"What!" Daniel shouted grabbing the steering wheel. Vala quickly put her hands on the wheel and tried to remember what she was doing. "Pull over!" Daniel shouted at her, his voice full of shock and annoyance.

She did what he asked as best as she could. Apparently they had been driving some kind of urban community, she pulled over and parked the car. She undid her seatbelt and literally jumped out of the car. She started to pace up and down the sidewalk. What was going on? She had died. She was dead. Daniel was supposed to survive, keep going. Had anything really changed? Was any of this even going on?

"Shit," Daniel muttered as he slowly got out of the car and followed her. He found her sitting on the side of the road. She was holding her head in her hands. He sat down beside her and put and an arm around her shoulders. "What's going on?"

Vala slowly began to tell him everything. "I'm shifting between realities Daniel." She lifted her head and looked at him. "You're not my Daniel." He looked shocked. He didn't know what she was saying. "That's not my car, cause I have no idea how to drive. And that's most definitely not my kid."

"What!" Daniel said suddenly afraid. "What are you talking about?"

She shook her head. It was too hard to explain now. She didn't understand it, how was she supposed to explain it to him. "I don't know. Maybe I came in contact with some kind of technology. Maybe you're sending me some message from beyond." She didn't know how to explain it; those reasons didn't seem to make sense. This was too painful. "Maybe I'm just going insane." She turned away from him and felt tears smearing her face.

Daniel took a hand and touched her cheek. He pulled her face so he could look into her eyes. She meant it, every word. "I think we should head for the base."

Vala just nodded. That was a good idea. This was getting to be too much. She got up and started heading back to the car. "Ummmm…" she turned back to Daniel and handed him the keys. "You drive."

She turned from him and got into the passenger seat. She sat down. That rushing pain was returning, but she tried to ignore it.

Daniel was silent as he started the car and began to drive.

She lowered her vicer and opened the mirror. In the back of the car was a small three-year-old girl. Black hair and bleu eyes, she was the most beautiful child Vala had ever seen in her life. Vala smiled at the girl, and the girl smiled back. Vala quickly closed the mirror and vicer and tried to pretend she wasn't feeling any emotions at all. She needed to keep her head clear.

"Can you answer some questions for me?" she asked him slowly. She tried to repress a sharp intake of breath as she felt the pain in her gut increase. She brought her hand to her stomach and tried to ignore it as best she could.

Daniel just nodded, he was frustrated, who wouldn't be?

"We're married?"

"Yes!" Daniel said sounding angry. He calmed his voice. "Yes, we got married off-world 4 years ago. We were going to look at a house today."

She smiled at him slowly. She could feel this worlds memories rushing in. She tried to push those thoughts aside. It wasn't safe to give into the reality. "Grace?" She didn't have time to see Daniel's reaction. She reeled over in pain and felt suddenly faint. She closed her eyes and removed her hand from her stomach. There it was, the blood. "Daniel," she cried softly. "Help me."

Vala's head was rushing, but the fuzzy feeling was fading. She opened her eyes to find she was in the infirmary on the base. Carolyn, Sam, Teal'c and Mitchell all hovering over her. "What's going on?" she muttered as she tried to lift herself up. A gentle hand pushed her back down.

"Don't move Vala," Carolyn's voice told her.

Vala blindly obeyed and stared at them. "Have you figured out what's going on?" she asked them, her eyes still feeling blurry with all the lights.

They all seemed to look at each other. "What do you mean Vala?" Sam's voice finally said.

Vala choose to focus in on her friend. She could see Sam clearly though Vala felt blind to everything else. "The shifts," Vala told her quickly. "All of them the same but different. All of them ending in pain. Help Sam. Must find place… to stop."

Her friends looked worried. Carolyn leaned in but she didn't know what kind of test she could perform at the moment. Suddenly Vala saw all their heads turn and she vaguely saw a figure approach.

"What happened?"

She tried to ignore his voice. She tried to close her eyes. Maybe it was her fault. If Daniel didn't know who she was, what was going on… What was going on?

"She woke up?"

Vala couldn't keep her eyes shut any longer. "Daniel?" She felt his hand press against her own and she tried to shake him away. "Help me."

Daniel's words sounded like whispers. "It's going to be okay," Daniel muttered. "Just fight Vala. Fight it. Don't leave me now."

But before she could do anything she was fading away once again.

She was standing in Daniel's office and there was Daniel sitting at his desk looking over some kind of artifact. She almost screamed but suppressed the sound. She needed time alone, where she could think. She walked out of Daniel's office and started walking down the hall.

If she let herself die Daniel could survive, that had to be the answer didn't it? That's what all the shifts were trying to tell her? If she died, if she could take that staff blast instead of Daniel, then Daniel could live. She had seen him, he could be happy. He could take care of life without her; he could do more then just survive. She couldn't survive without him, she realized that now.

Then again, maybe they could both survive. They could be happy together, grow old together, friends or lovers. Was that what this all meant? Could she even save him? Was that possible? She shook her head, none of this was possible, but it was still happening.

_**There are many paths to walk. The one to enlightenment is the one that will….**_

She was stopped before she could finish the thought. "Vala?" It was Sam, Sam who couldn't seem to keep to herself.

Vala turned glaring at her friend. "Whatever it is Sam, I don't have time for it! I need to be alone!" She stormed away from her friend and slammed the door to her room. She sat down on the bed and curled up under the sheets.

This is where she had been not too long ago, thinking of how she would survive without Daniel. Daniel who had always been so much better then she had been; Daniel, who she had loved with all her heart; Daniel who deserved to live much more then she did. "What am I supposed to do?"

She didn't know the answer to the question. She felt a memory nudge her attention and she heard a voice rumble darkly in the distance.

_**To sacrifice ones life to follow the path is to follow the way to genesis. To give ones life to save another's soul is to follow the way to origin.**_

She heard the door open and she pulled the sheets up over her head. She knew it was Daniel, and she didn't want to talk to him. "Vala?" she heard him whisper through the room.

"Go away!" she muttered. She didn't want to talk to him. "I don't want to talk to you." She sighed and rolled onto her belly. She was pouting beyond belief.

"Are you alright?" He sat down on the bed and started to pull the sheets off her head. She held on tight. "Vala, will you please talk to me."

She sighed. He was so sweet, and he was so understanding, but she didn't want to talk to him, couldn't talk to him. "Just go away!"

He sighed. "Vala I can't."

"Why!" she yelled at him.

"Because you are dying, Vala."

Vala shot up in bed but when she opened her eyes Daniel wasn't there. She was in the apartment, cozy and warm on Daniel's side of the bed. She laid back down in the bed. Something about this morning felt familiar. She shook off the feeling and rolled over in bed, whatever it was it could wait.

Then suddenly she remembered and she shut up in the bed. She got up so quickly she didn't know what she was thinking. Where was Daniel? Where the hell was Daniel? She raced into his kitchen and she found him standing impatiently by the coffee maker not at all happy. Then she slowed herself down, she approached him on her tiptoes.

But before she reached him Vala shook her head. This wasn't real. This couldn't be real. Nothing was as it seems, and this seemed too real.

Daniel turned and saw her. "Why are you up?" he muttered grumpily.

She smiled and gave him a good morning kiss. "I have something to tell you darling," she muttered to him softly.

But Daniel would hear none of it. "You get back to bed. You're not well." He put a hand on her stomach and started to push her back to the bedroom. He was slow in the morning, at least until he got his coffee, but he was using an unusual amount of force.

"Daniel what's going on?" the words came slowly and she was barely able to mutter them through the pain he was causing. She looked down at his hands. There was the same open wound, blood staining her cute pajamas. "Daniel?"

She looked up and suddenly saw Daniel's eyes red with fire. He spoke with a cold voice that was not his own. "Do not worry. We shall save you."


End file.
